12 year age gap and i feel like the ls puts the imbalance on display

im 47 hes 35. been together 8 years married 5. came into the scene last year at his suggestion. and i love it actually... but theres something about the ls environment where the 12 years feels louder than in vanilla life. other couples respond to him differently to me. women his age clock me as the older one in the room. and i find myself wondering if hes settling. which i never did before we started this. anyone in a similar gap couple how do you manage this