15 yrs in the LS meeting newbie couples now feels like dating a 19 yr old when you're 40, the asymmetry is brutal

rant + question. we're f47 m49, in the LS since 2009. the local scene used to have like 6 vet couples and now bc of the post-2020 boom its all newbies. like the demographic shifted hard. last 3 meets we've had with first or second time couples and every single one has been an experience in patient parenting. example. last sat. lovely couple, mid 30s, married 5 yrs, opened up "to spice things up". 2 hrs of dinner where we answered the same 5 questions ("how did you get into this... do you ever get jealous... how do u handle the day after"). then back at our place she froze, he overcompensated by being too much, we had to do the soft pivot ("hey lets just hang out, no pressure tonight"), she cried in our bathroom, we ended up making them tea and they left at 1am with a profuse text the next day. lovely ppl. genuinely. but i felt like a babysitter not a playmate. and i know thats what we needed once. 15 yrs ago an experienced couple did exactly this for us. patiently. so i feel like a jerk for being annoyed. but theres also a real question of where do we MEET other vets now. the boom has buried us. apps are 90% newbies. clubs that used to be vet-heavy are now mostly tourist nights. lifestyle resorts are still ok but were not flying to mexico 6x a yr. so how are other 10-20 yr couples handling this. do you just accept that being a vet means you do a lot of mentoring now. do you have a secret vet-only network im not in. do you only travel now. or have you accepted the asymmetry and built a small circle of like 3 vet couples and basically retired from new meets locally. ive heard all 3 answers from diff ppl and im trying to figure out which path is sustainable