50/50 custody w my partners ex, were both burnt out trying to cram everything into "our weeks"

me F37 partner M39, weve been together 4 yrs, he has two kids w his ex (10 and 12), strict 50/50 week-on week-off arrangement. ex is fine, no drama, very co-parent goals on paper. but the LS logistics are killing us tbh. basically. on "our weeks" (kids with us) we cant really do anything LS, both bc the kids are in the house and bc we dont wanna be that tired and weird for them. on "off weeks" (kids at their mums) we have unlimited freedom but were also like... catching up on sleep, catching up on each other, catching up on the house, AND trying to fit in club nights / dates / hotel weekends. by sunday of an off week were destroyed. the maths is even worse bc club nights are mostly saturdays, and we only have 2 saturdays a month child-free. half of those we want for just-us-time. so realistically we have ONE saturday a month for any kind of LS thing. its not enough and we keep feeling like were rushing. has anyone in this kind of split-custody situation found a workaround?? like do you do weeknight stuff? do you do daytime hotel? do you just accept this is the season of life and ride it out til the older one is independent? also a softer question — anyone else feel weird about playing on a night when the kids are technically just down the road at the other parents. like rationally i know they have no idea where i am but my brain does a thing.