am i using the lifestyle to delay accepting that my marriage is dying

this is hard to type. been with my husband 16 yrs (cape town, both early 40s). weve been in the LS about 5 yrs. on paper its great, we have a good crew of friends we play with, our schedule is full, the sex is regular. but in the last 8 months ive started noticing that i dont actually look forward to time alone with him. like when our play partners cancel im disappointed not because of the sex but because it means just us. ive started wondering if the LS has been a really sophisticated way of avoiding sitting in a room with my husband and admitting we ran out of things to say years ago. how do you tell the difference between "the LS is helping" and "the LS is letting me avoid the truth"