breast cancer survivor, 3 yrs clear... why do potential partners get weird "are u sure" energy when i tell them

47, married 20 yrs, in the LS pre-diagnosis, took 2 yrs off during treatment, back in it for about a year now. heres my issue. when i tell potential play partners (which i do bc theres scars and one reconstructed breast and i think its only fair), they get this... energy. like overly gentle, overly checking-in, sometimes outright pulling back like im fragile. one woman in cardiff actually said "are u sure ur ready for this" which... yes? thats why im here? i didnt survive cancer to be handled like glass during play. how do u survivors get partners to just treat u like a person again