british pakistani couple in manchester quietly on the scene, the isolation is the thing thats hardest not the actual ls

this is going to be a hard one to write so bear with me. weve been married 12 yrs, im 35, hes 38, both born in the uk, both from pakistani muslim families in the manchester area. weve been in the LS now for nearly 3 yrs, started cautiously, mostly private hotel meets, never anywhere local, never any photos. the LS itself we've found... fine. genuinely. we play with one or two trusted couples and weve learned how to handle it carefully and our marriage is stronger than its been in yrs. the meets are nice, the ppl are kind, the sex is good, all of that is a non-issue at this point. what is hard is the absolute total isolation of being us doing this. i cannot tell a single person in my life. not my sister who i tell everything else to. not my best friend from school. not my cousin who lives 2 streets away. not a therapist bc we live in a small enough community that even the asian therapists here go to my parents mosque or know my husbands uncle. the secrecy is not 90% like for most couples on the scene, its 100%, with no relief valve anywhere. i love my parents. i love my community. i would never want to hurt them and i never will, the secrecy will hold for life inshallah. but the loneliness of it some nights is heavy. my husband and i carry it together which helps massively but he is also the one i need to talk to ABOUT it and he cant be both the holder and the witness all the time. any other south asian muslim couples — how do you find ANY outside witness for this life. is there one therapist somewhere. is there a single trusted couple. how are ppl doing the holding alone...