comparing my dick to the bull from two weeks ago, cannot stop, please help me get out of this loop

wife and I are in our early 40s, hotwife dynamic mostly, Ive been the cuck/hubby for about two years and Ive really enjoyed it. weve done maybe a dozen bulls, mostly repeat with one guy and rotating others. two weeks ago we met a new bull. very nice guy, respectful, did everything right. and he was significantly bigger than me. like not "oh thats a little bigger" bigger, more like a different category bigger. I was actively turned on watching it that night, no question. wife had a great time, she was honest about it being intense, we had a great drive home actually. since then though. I cannot stop comparing. Im measuring myself. Im looking up averages on the internet (which everyone says is a mistake and they are right). Im replaying the visual when Im trying to fall asleep. Im subtly asking wife questions that I know are unhelpful like "did you prefer it" (she did not say yes but the question itself was a mistake). this is supposed to be a kink I enjoy. it WAS a kink I enjoyed. but somehow this one guy broke something in my head. is this just the kink turning on me. is it that he was too big for the dynamic to feel playful. is it me. how do you guys, the long term hotwife husbands, manage size stuff that genuinely intrudes after the meet.