conditional consent across distance... what actually works when u cant just turn to ur partner

so we agreed i can play solo while hes deployed but with conditions. only ppl weve both met before, no overnights, no PIV without protection blah blah blah. on paper it sounds fine. in practice ive been at a club and run into situations that dont fit the rules but also arent clearly off limits, and i cant just look at him across the room and check. how do other LDR couples handle conditional consent when there is no quick check-in possible. do u just default to no when in doubt or do u trust ur own judgement