dating a trans man in the LS, both sides perspective on what actually works

curious from both directions on this one. i'm a cis bi woman, my new partner is a trans man (post-T, post-top, no bottom surgery), and we're thinking about getting back into the scene which i used to do solo in london years ago... what i want to hear is from trans men in the LS about what their partners did right or wrong, and from cis partners of trans men about what they wish they'd known. specifically the messaging stage and the first meet are where i feel least confident. how do you talk about his body without making him into a curiosity, but also not hide him into a default cis presentation that ends up being a worse surprise...