dating vanilla after years in LS and the conversations feel so... shallow

is this just me. been on like 8 dates with vanilla women since my divorce finalised and every single one feels like im performing a person i no longer am. the level of openness about sex, about other ppl, about jealousy and communication... it's just not there. and im not saying i need to date someone in the lifestyle but the depth of conversation we used to have with our play partners about feelings and consent and boundaries is just absent. am i being snobby or is this a real thing... toronto here