dh loves giving a bit of light choke... how do i raise this with a play partner without scaring her off

so my husband (in his early forties) and i (37) have been in the lifestyle for about 4 yrs, full swap, mostly through clubs around manchester and a couple of private parties in dublin when we visit my sister. at home my dh and i have done light breath play / hand-on-throat stuff for years and its a huge part of how we have sex tbh. nothing intense, no actual airway pressure, just hand placement and a bit of psychological weight if that makes sense. for me its connected to trust more than anything. now we're getting to a stage in our LS journey where he wants to bring that into play with women we meet. and like, i get it, its a big part of how he expresses dominance in a sexy way. but ive watched him try to bring it up TWICE now with women weve been playing with and both times it landed weird. one woman went really tense and the scene basically ended. the other one said yes but i could tell she didnt really know what she was agreeing to and he could tell too and he pulled back. the issue imo is timing... by the time hes already on top of her, "can i put my hand on your throat" is too late, theres no real way to say no. but doing it during the meal feels like a job interview. so for couples who have this in your bag... when do you bring it up. how do you phrase it so its not a yes/no on the spot under pressure. and also is there a way for ME to bring it up about him instead of him doing it himself, would that land better do you reckon