DV clearance and the lifestyle... the disclosure question is doing my head in

so my partner just got asked to upgrade from SC to DV for a role and theres a whole section about "lifestyle and relationships" and "anything that could be used to coerce or blackmail you" and we're sat here looking at each other like... do we disclose the LS? on the one hand the whole point of disclosure is that if its on record it cant be used against you. on the other hand the idea of some vetting officer writing this down in a file gives both of us the absolute ick. weve been LS about 3yrs, very discreet, no online footprint with faces. has anyone else been through DV vetting while in the LS? does it actually come up in the interview or is it more "are you having an affair your spouse doesnt know about" type questions? we're both fully consenting and on the same page so technically theres nothing to blackmail us with but the bureaucracy of explaining that...