expat couples — do you end up only playing with other expats or do you actually break into the local scene

we're a south african couple living in auckland nearly 4 years now, both in our late 30s. been in the LS since cape town days, started looking around here about a year and a bit ago. and i've noticed something i wanna check against other expats. every single couple we've clicked with has been... another expat couple. brits, a south african pair, one couple from singapore, and recently some other saffas we met at a house party. and i don't think we're actively avoiding kiwi couples but somehow when the night ends and we look back at who we actually exchanged numbers with, its always the imports. partner thinks its just a comfort thing, like we recognise each other in some unspoken way and the local couples find their own. i think its a bit more than that. like theres a shorthand with other expats about why you're here, what you left behind, why the LS is part of your "we're starting over" story. local couples don't have that and don't need it. and i can feel myself doing the lighter version of the small talk with them and then properly relaxing the moment we sit down with another expat couple. is this a real pattern or have we just had a weird run. and is it limiting us by accident.