expectations vs reality of opening up.. what surprised you most

going to be honest the gap between what i expected and what actually happened is bigger than any other thing i've done in my adult life. expected: wild nights endless attraction constant excitement. reality: lots of mundane logistics, way more emotional processing than i thought possible, surprisingly few but very meaningful nights, deeper marriage. expected jealousy to be a constant battle. reality is i felt it maybe 4 times in 3 years and we worked through each one. expected sex to be the focus. reality is the friendships are. anyone else feel like the brochure they read about ENM was a totally different product to what got delivered