experienced couple absolutely rinsed us as newbies and we let them

first proper meet. cape town couple, ten years in the scene, very confident. we'd said soft swap on the app, said it again at dinner, said it a THIRD time in the hotel room. they kept laughing it off with "we'll see how the night goes". by 1am they'd steered us into a full swap by sheer force of personality. like a sales pitch with knickers off. wife and i barely looked at each other the whole night. drove back to stellenbosch in silence at 4am. we're not destroyed but we feel really stupid. how does a couple ten years in not respect a written boundary stated three times. and how do we not let the next couple do this. shes 33 im 35 weve been talking about doing this for two years finally took the plunge