filipino-aussie couple in sydney, the cultural baggage we're carrying into the LS is heavier than expected

wife is filipino-born, came over with her family when she was 13, im aussie raised in newcastle. married 8 years, in our mid 30s, two kids. we got curious about the LS last year and have been to a few meets and one club night in inner sydney. and we're both finding it harder than we expected and most of it isnt about the swinging itself, its about the cultural stuff we brought with us without realising. so for her side, theres a LOT around what a "good filipino wife" looks like and what her mum and aunties would do if they ever found out. like the shame layer is huge. but its also more than that. its also about how she presents in mixed company, how she's used to deflecting attention not seeking it, how flirting with a stranger at a meet feels physically impossible for her in a way it just isnt for the aussie women in the room. for my side, theres the bit where im suddenly conscious of being the white bloke with the filipino wife in a swingers club in sydney and the assumptions some ppl make about that pairing before we've even said hi. one couple at the club night were SO interested in talking to us in a way that felt... yeah. you know the way. we still want to be in the scene. we both do. but we hadnt clocked how much of this was gonna come up. anyone else in a mixed cultural marriage navigating the LS, how do you carry the bits that come with you and not let them eat the experience.