first ever same-room and the chemistry between me and the other guy just evaporated

F36, husband 38, married 8 yrs. we had been talking to a couple online for like 3 months on SLS. lots of voice memos, two coffee meets, real chemistry between me and M from the other couple. like REAL. we finally did the first play night and decided same room would be easier than separate for a first time bc we'd see each other check in and feel safer. logically that made sense. except as soon as we started, with my husband and her on the other side of the bed, i just... froze. like my body went somewhere else. the guy i had insane chemistry with for months suddenly felt like a stranger and i could feel my husband's presence so heavily that i couldnt access whatever was supposed to be happening between me and him. we kind of stopped, i made a joke, we all reset, and then it just never came back that night. afterwards in the car i cried a little. not bc it was bad bc i was just disappointed. all that buildup, gone in 15 minutes. now im wondering if we should have just gone separate room and trusted the consent we already had. is same-room for first times actually a bad idea bc it adds a layer of self-consciousness that kills the chemistry youve been building? has anyone had this exact failure and what did you change for round 2