first proper girl-girl thing at 38 and i cant stop thinking about it

ok so im 38, married 11 years, two kids, the whole thing. me and dh did our first soft swap in brighton last month with another couple and i ended up kissing the other wife for like ages... it wasnt planned and tbh i thought id be more nervous. her mouth was so different than my husbands, softer, slower, idk how to describe it. when she put her hand on my thigh i nearly cried lol not in a sad way just... oh. like a door opened. dh was watching and he says he loved it but now im home and ive been spiraling a bit. am i bi? have i always been? i had a thing for a girl at uni i never acted on, used to think it was just admiration but maybe not. how do you tell the difference between curious and actually queer when youve spent 20 years assuming youre straight. fwiw nothing about being with men has changed for me i still want my husband i just also want... her? or someone like her? is that a thing or am i overthinking