how do i write a first message that doesnt sound like every other guy on SLS

asking as the M half of a couple (37M wife is 35F). she lets me handle first contact on SLS and Kasidie when we initiate. ive sent maybe 60 messages over 4 months and got like 8 actual conversations going. response rate is bad and i know its on me. ive read profiles carefully, i try to reference something specific they wrote, i compliment without being creepy, i mention a shared interest. but i suspect im still hitting the same notes every other guy hits because honestly when i read other couples profiles and imagine what id write, i blank. like everyone says "we loved your vacation pic where are you from", "your bio cracked us up", etc. and im sure they hear it 50x a day. whats the actual move here. do i ask a weird specific question, do i lead with something about us instead of them, do i just say less. wife thinks im overthinking it but i dont think i am because the data is the data. 8 of 60 is bad