i froze mid play 3 wks ago, didnt say stop, still processing what that means about my trauma and the lifestyle

tw for trauma + freeze response, posting bc i need to talk abt this somewhere ppl get it. im 37, married 11 yrs, in the LS 2 yrs, edinburgh. i have an assault history from when i was 19, properly worked thru in therapy in my late 20s, ive been considered "recovered" in any meaningful sense for ages. i went into the LS with my eyes open about my history and so did my husband and we've been really careful — slow start, only soft swap for the first yr, only ppl we felt very comfortable with, lots of debriefing after, my therapist on speed dial. three wks ago we were with a couple wed been seeing about 4 months. its been lovely with them. nothing alarming about the meet, the setup, them, anything. and in the middle of playing — separate rooms, im with him, my husband is with her — something shifted in me. he wasnt doing anything wrong. he wasnt doing anything different. but my body just... left. i went somewhere far away in my head. i kept moving. i made the right sounds. i finished. he had no idea. when we all came back together i was fine on the surface. we left an hour later. in the car i started crying and couldnt stop and my husband didnt understand what was wrong bc i couldnt explain. i didnt say stop. i didnt say "i need a minute". i didnt tap out. i performed thru the rest of it like nothing happened. and that — not the freeze itself but the PERFORMING THRU — has been on my mind ever since. bc what i thought i had learned in therapy a decade ago was to give myself permission to stop ANYTHING ANY TIME. and in the moment that knowledge was just... gone. like it had never been there. ive seen my therapist twice since. she says freeze response in the body is much harder to override than ppl think and that "knowing u can stop" and "being able to stop in the moment" are different skills. she said the LS isnt to blame and isnt necessarily wrong for me but that we should pause for a bit and figure out what happened. we've paused. obvs. we told the couple we needed a break, kept it general, they were lovely about it. and now im sitting with this huge question — was that a one off body thing or was this always under there and the LS just gave it more chances to show up. and how do other trauma survivors in the scene handle this. like is there a way back in or is the way back in itself the wrong question