im a bull and i also want a girlfriend, the two don't fit

this is the bit that's been doing my head in. i love playing with couples, been doing it 3 years in dublin, got a couple of regulars i adore... but i also want a proper relationship eventually. and i can't figure out how to date vanilla women while being active as a bull. like do i tell them on date 3, date 10, never, only if it gets serious... and conversely the women in the lifestyle who would understand it are mostly in couples themselves. is there a path where bulling and a girlfriend coexist or do you have to pick one. asking specifically anyone who's actually navigated this not in theory