in same room my husband basically performs and i feel invisible... is this just our thing

F35 / M40, married 7 years, ls about a year and a half. we mostly do same room. something i noticed and idk how to bring up. in same room sessions, my husband becomes a totally different person. more vocal, more theatrical, makes eye contact with the other woman the whole time, basically performs. ive watched him with our regulars and hes putting on a SHOW. its actually kind of impressive. meanwhile im over here just trying to have a real intimate experience with whoever im with, and i feel like im whispering and quiet and the room is dominated by his energy. the other woman is into his show which is great for them, but my play partner sometimes feels like an afterthought in the room because the volume is all his. i dont want him to dim down, hes clearly having fun. but i feel like in same room his style and mine just dont coexist well, like hes a band and im a podcast and we're both playing at the same time. separate room solves it instantly. but he prefers same room. so... how do you handle when one of you is performative and one of you is quiet/intimate. do you alternate same/separate. is it ok to ask him to "turn it down" or is that unfair. has anyone navigated this stylistic mismatch