is the hotwife "going out outfit" overthought or does it actually matter

F35 / M38, hotwife dynamic about a year, mostly hotel dates one bull regular plus occasional. we have a specific thing thats become almost a problem and i wanna check if were doing too much. every date night i go on, dh and i spend like an hour talking about the outfit. like the dress, the heels, the underwear, the jewelry. we've developed this whole vocabulary, "the maroon dress is for him noticing across the bar", "the lace set under the black slip is for the reveal later", "no panties under the silk dress is for the car ride". its become a whole pre-date ritual. and i love it. but i also wonder if were making something that should be casual into a production. like if i just wore jeans and a nice top would the night actually be different. is the outfit psychology real or are we playing dressup for the kink of dressing up. other hotwives, do you also have an entire mental archive of "outfits by purpose"... is this universal in the community or is it a thing some couples do and others dont. and if you DO do it, do you think it changes the night or is it more about the anticipation. and the men, how much do you contribute to the outfit choice, is it her decision or a shared planning thing