lost the pregnancy and dont know how to grieve in this community

we lost ours at 11 weeks last month. im a mess. my husbands a mess. and the thing is... the only ppl who knew were 2 couples from the scene bc we told them early. our vanilla friends and family dont even know we were trying let alone that we lost. so my whole support network rn is play partners and that feels... weird?? to lean on them. they've been incredible btw, meals dropped off, no pressure to play, just love. but theres this internal voice saying "u dont get to grieve like normal ppl bc ur life isnt normal". how do u process pregnancy loss when half ur emotional world is people u also have sex with