massive fight after a club night nearly ended us, how do you come back

glasgow couple, mid 30s, in the lifestyle about 18 months. last saturday at a club my husband disappeared for nearly 90 minutes with a woman id explicitly said i wasnt comfortable with that night (long story, vibes were off, id asked him to stick to group play). i found him in a side room. i didnt make a scene we left, but the car ride home was the worst silence of our marriage. weve barely spoken in 5 days. hes apologised, hes cried, hes said he got caught up. im not sure i believe its not deeper than that. im not even sure i want to do this anymore but i also dont know if im throwing the baby out with the bathwater. how do you rebuild trust after a rule break that wasnt cheating but felt like cheating?? i keep crying at work its mental