my dad is 78 and we are losing him slowly. does anyone ever tell their aging parents about the lifestyle, even hypothetically

this is more philosophical than practical maybe. but i need to ask. my dad is 78. has parkinsons. is sharp some days and very not other days. we visit every 2 weeks, it is the hardest thing in my adult life. my mom is 75 and still all there but exhausted. last weekend we were on the porch w my dad on a good day. he was asking me about my life, my marriage, am i happy with my wife. he said "you guys remind me of how me and your mother were when she was 30, you have a real thing". and then he looked right at me and said "are you both happy, like really" and i said yes dad we are really happy. and i meant it. but the part of our happiness that has been a huge piece for the past 5 yrs is the lifestyle. and i sat there w my dying dad and lied by omission about a thing that is a big part of why we are the happy couple he sees. and the question came into my head — do i ever tell him. ever. and the next question was do i ever tell my MOM. she will outlive him probably and she will be alone and i love her and one day shes going to ask me again "are you and [wife] happy" and im going to nod and say yes mom. i KNOW the standard advice is "you dont owe them this information, protect their last yrs, it would only confuse and hurt them, theyll never get it". and 80% of me agrees. completely. but the 20% says — this is part of who i became as an adult. they raised me. they get to know who i am. theres something gross about being 46 and still hiding a major life shape from my parents. and if i never tell them, and one of them goes, then i carry that secret to their grave AND mine. that feels like a quiet small grief inside the big grief. i have NEVER seen this question asked here straight up. ppl always say "no never tell parents". but ive seen poly ppl in articles say they did tell their parents and it went better than expected. is the lifestyle different. is the religious/generational angle different. has anyone here ever told an aging parent and not regretted it. m46 f44 married 18 yrs no kids, lifestyle since 2020, very stable. parents on his side gone already. her parents devout-ish christian midwesterners. i dont actually plan to do it. i think. but i want to hear if anyone has