my husband begged for this for years.. then panicked the night it happened

he brought it up first. for literal years. i was the reluctant one. finally said yes after a lot of therapy and reading. our first club night in toronto he was buzzing all the way there... we matched with a couple we'd been chatting to for weeks. soft play started and within 20 mins he had to step outside. he came back pale and asked to go home. i wasnt angry just confused. turns out fantasy vs reality hit him like a truck. we've since worked through it and we're back at it 2 yrs later but i want to warn other ppl... the partner pushing hardest is often the one who folds first. anyone else live this dynamic