my partner drinks heavy every club night and wont talk about it

this is a hard one to write. weve been in the lifestyle about 3 years and from the start my wife (shes in her late 30s) has needed a lot of wine to get going on a club night, like a full bottle before we even leave the house plus more there. for ages i told myself it was just "her thing", confidence stuff. but lately ive noticed shes only ever wanting to be intimate with other couples when shes had a proper amount. and the morning after shes shaky, snappy, sometimes regretful in a way that doesnt sit right with me. when i try to bring it up gently she shuts it down and says im "ruining the fun". i love this woman, im scared. has anyone here been on either side of this...

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