my therapist asked if the lifestyle is self medicating and i havent been able to stop thinking about it

so. im 43, wife is 41, married 16 yrs, in the LS 5 yrs, vancouver. ive been in proper therapy about a year. she knows we're in the LS, she's neutral about it, never judged. last week i was talking about how i'd had a stressful work month and the only thing that pulled me out of it was a great weekend with another couple and she just very gently said "do u notice how often u describe the lifestyle as the thing that brings u back to urself when things are hard. is it possible some of what u get there is doing a job ur not naming". and then we moved on to something else. but that sentence has been on a loop in my head for 8 days. bc the honest answer is... yeah. probably. i grew up with a depressed parent and i learned really young that other ppl's emotional energy is what regulates me. like i need other warm bodies in the room to feel ok. ive known this about myself forever. and the LS, when i actually look at it, isnt just sex for me — its like a guaranteed dose of intense human attention, novelty, validation, physical closeness, group warmth, all of it in one night. its a multivitamin for a deficiency i probably should have been treating differently for 30 years. and like. is that bad. is it bad to have found a thing that works. ppl run marathons for the same reasons. ppl drink. ppl shop. mine is healthier than most coping mechanisms tbh. its consensual, my wife is in it with me, no one gets hurt, we have rules, we're grown ups. but also if im honest the bit i love most isnt even the sex. its the morning after when 4 of us have coffee on the deck and im surrounded by warmth and i feel HELD. and i can feel my therapists question underneath that. like... if u needed that much regulation from outside u, what does that say about whats going on inside u when ur alone. and i dont know what to do with that. do i keep going with the LS bc its working, or do i need to figure out what im actually feeding so i can stop being so dependent on the scene to feel ok. has anyone been in this exact loop with their therapist