newbies first night — do most of u recommend soft or just a hard "look but dont touch" limit we're scheduled to attend our first house party in 3 weeks, hosted by a couple we met online and feel good about. they suggested we set our limits before showing up. our gut says soft is fine but a few ppl on here have told us "go absolutely no touching first time" and just observe. on the other hand staying frozen on the couch all night sounds awful too. for those of u who've been doing this for a while, what did u do ur first night and would u do it differently looking back. also any tips for not freezing up when it actually starts...