non-binary partner stuck in the "couples" filter and feeling invisible

so my partner is enby (they/them) and we've been trying the LS for about 6 months in the uk... every app, every site, every club intake form has us ticking "couple" because there's literally no other option and then the second we actually meet people my partner gets read as "the woman" or "the girlfriend" and it just collapses everything we tried to set up in the bio... we've tried writing it in the profile in plain words, we've tried being upfront in chat, doesnt seem to land. how do other enby folks handle this when the whole infrastructure of the scene is built on M/F couples? do you just keep grinding or is there a specific subset of clubs/parties where this isnt a constant uphill...