postpartum body and stepping back into the scene after baby #2

im 32, just had our second 8 months ago. before kids dh and i were in the scene like crazy for almost 4 years, took a hiatus through both pregnancies and the early baby phase. now im ready to come back, sort of, kinda, except my body feels nothing like the one those couples remember. stretch marks across my belly, breasts that fed two humans and look very different now, weight i havent lost yet, diastasis recti that makes my middle soft in a new way. i dont feel ugly, i actually feel kind of in awe of what my body did, but i also dont feel sexy in the LS context yet. how did other moms re enter, like did u tell old partners "btw im different now" or just let them see, did u find new ppl who only ever knew this version of u, did u wait until u "got ur body back" (and is that even a real thing). also how do u disconnect mom brain from sex brain because im struggling w that part too