practicing buddhist couple in bristol, does the meditation practice actually help with jealousy in the lifestyle or am i kidding myself

so my partner and i are 41 and 39, weve been together 11 yrs married 8, both western converts to buddhism (insight tradition, weve done long retreats at gaia house in devon for yrs). weve been on the scene about 18 months, just hotel meets, slow, careful. the question i keep turning over is whether my daily sit is genuinely helping with the jealousy stuff or whether im just better at hiding it from myself. like the LS dharma talk in my head says — clinging is the root of suffering, my partners pleasure with another person is not mine to own, attachment to "she should only ever experience pleasure with me" is the exact kind of grasping the buddha was on about. nice. tidy. very philosophical. but in actual practice, sitting in a hotel room while she is in the next bit of the suite with another bloke, the dharma talk goes a bit thin. i can notice the jealousy as a sensation in my chest, label it, breathe with it, all the things ive trained for 15 yrs to do on a cushion. and it works, sort of. its not making me freak out, im not pacing, im not making it her problem. but its not making the sensation actually pleasant either. its more like im a slightly more graceful guest at the dinner of my own discomfort. is anyone else here from a serious meditation background and actually testing the practice against the LS as the real fire. does it work over yrs. does the equanimity actually deepen or does the LS just give your jealousy more raw material to keep firing. genuinely asking, not looking for the comfortable answer...