reading the ethical slut in your forties is wild.. anyone else come to this stuff late

i'm 47 my wife is 45. we got the book on a recommendation from a friend in cardiff who'd been in the scene for a decade. reading polyamory theory while perimenopausal with two teenagers in the house was a SURREAL experience let me tell you. half of it felt aimed at 20 somethings in shared houses in brighton but the core ideas about jealousy and communication landed hard. has anyone else come to ENM literature in midlife and felt simultaneously seen and out of place. what books actually spoke to you as established marrieds vs the more youth coded poly stuff