real cuckolding in our marriage looks NOTHING like the porn version and idk how to explain that

M43 / F41, married 14 yrs, hotwife/cuck dynamic for almost 5 yrs now. we have one regular bull weve been with for like 3 years and an occasional second. so i was at a work thing last week and one of the guys made a joke about cuckolding and the whole table laughed and i sat there with the most fake smile of my life because every assumption in that joke was wrong. like... the porn caricature is humiliation, sissy, tiny dick, crying in the corner, etc etc. and the actual thing in our house is my wife coming home glowing, telling me everything in detail, us having the best sex of the week after, and me feeling more loved and more chosen than i did before she went out. theres no degradation. theres no "loser" framing. theres no shouting "shes mine now". we dont even use the word cuck in our house, we say hotwife. the bull is a guy named M, hes 38, hes married too (his wife knows), hes respectful, he texts me thank you after. it is the most boringly normal thing. how do you guys talk about this when the world thinks cuckold = the freakshow version. do you just stop trying. do you only talk to other LS ppl. and do you find that ppl who get into it after watching porn are disappointed by how non-humiliating real cuck dynamics are tbh