relationship anarchy and being in the lifestyle as a married couple — fundamentally incompatible or fine actually

okay this is going to be a niche question but bear with me. ive been reading a lot of relationship anarchy stuff lately (started bc a friend identifies that way and i wanted to actually understand it not just nod along at brunch). the core RA principles as i grasp them: no relationship style is ranked above another, every relationship is defined by the people in it not by predefined roles, no person owes another a particular type or amount of connection, you don't structure your life around an a-priori category like "marriage" or "friendship". now i'm looking at our setup. f40 m43, 16 yrs married, deeply in love, two kids, LS for 5. we are organised entirely around marriage as the central category. all of our ENM is filtered through "what does this do for the marriage". RA people would say thats not RA, thats normative monogamy with sex bolted on. and like... fair? i kinda see their point. we DO rank our marriage above everything else. its not anarchy its hierarchy. but we also genuinely don't want to live an RA life — we want the structure, we want the centrality of the marriage, we want the rest of the ENM to be in service of it. is that compatible with the RA framework at all or are we just doing something else entirely. is anyone actually running RA principles inside an LS marriage. or does RA basically require you to dissolve the marriage as a category. and if those things are actually incompatible — does that mean LS is philosophically just "monogamy plus" not real ENM. genuinely curious not picking a fight.