safewords with strangers... what do you actually say and when, this is bugging me

right so my partner and i (both late thirties, in the LS about 3 yrs now mostly UK clubs) have always used the standard traffic light thing between just the two of us at home. green/yellow/red. works great. doesnt even feel like a thing. problem is now we're doing meets where there's a bit of kink on the table — light bondage, some impact play, nothing wild — and i genuinely don't know how the safeword conversation is supposed to go with people we've known for like 90 minutes. do you say it before any clothes come off. do you wait till someone reaches for cuffs. do you say "btw if i say red just stop". cause every time ive tried to bring it up it lands really clinical and kills the mood. but skipping it feels mental, especially when the person tying me up is essentially a stranger. also the bigger thing — what if they have a different safeword from me. like what if they're a "pineapple" person and im a "red" person and at the moment of needing it i forget which one we agreed on lol. it sounds silly typing it out but its a real worry. and what about the husband/partner of the person playing on you — are they supposed to be the watcher who calls it. cause my dh once told me he wasn't sure if it was his place to step in during a scene with another couple. that conversation alone took us 2 weeks to recover from tbh. so yeah... how do experienced kink-LS people actually handle this. is there a standard chat thats normal at clubs/parties or are we all just winging it