showing up at 10pm vs 1am at our lifestyle club is two completely different experiences. which one is "right"

genuinely asking bc we're going back and forth on our routine. so the club we go to opens at 9, gets warm around 11, peaks like 12:30-2, closes at 4. we used to arrive at 10ish bc were morning ppl and we hate showing up late. but the past few months weve realized 10pm is essentially us + the staff + maybe 3 other early couples. nothing happens. we drink, we dance to a half empty room, by the time the room fills at 11:30 we already feel kinda tired. weve never played on a 10pm arrival night. so we tried showing up at 12:45am instead last sat. completely different. room was already a vibe, the early-night nervous energy was gone, ppl were settled in, conversations started fast. we ended up having a great night w a couple weve been smiling at across the room for months. f39 he 41, married 11 yrs, lifestyle 4. were not 25 anymore and a 1am arrival means we're crawling home at 4 which destroyed our sunday. is there a happy middle. like 11:30 — am i missing the early arrival benefit or is 11:30 actually the answer everyone else figured out and we're just catching up. oh and btw is there a hidden hierarchy among regulars where "early arrivers" and "late arrivers" actually have diff vibes or am i overthinking this. like is one group the "we're here for the social" and one the "we're here to play". curious if ppl have a take