soft rope/silk scarves during a full swap... how did your first time go bc ours was a mixed bag

tldr first time using silk scarves on a play partner went... interestingly. wanna hear other peoples' first attempts at light bondage during a swap before we try again. context: married couple, mid forties, LS about 6 yrs, full swap regulars at a private group near edinburgh. we've known the other couple for about a year, lots of meets, real friendship has built. all four of us into a bit of softer kink — we'd talked about it loads but never actually done anything with the four of us. so last weekend at theirs we finally went for it. the agreement was the men would each tie the other's wife's wrists with silk scarves, very light bondage, nothing properly restrictive, just enough that you felt held. all four enthusiastic, all four sober-ish, all four with phones nearby and clear "scarves off if anyone says yellow" rule. the actual experience for me was unreal honestly. being tied loosely by a man who isn't my husband while my husband watched and then joined was something i didn't even know i wanted. but my dh said after that watching me get tied up by another bloke was a completely different feeling than watching me have sex with him without the kink layer. he said the bondage made it feel more "given" if that makes any sense. he wasn't upset he just said it landed differently than expected. meanwhile the other wife said she barely felt the scarves cause she was too in her head and her husband said it was the hottest thing he'd ever seen lol. so four people, four different experiences from the same scene. is that normal for the first kink-layer addition... and how did you guys debrief after