south africa scene... cape town vs joburg club culture is night and day right??

first time were posting here but we're a CT couple planning a joburg weekend with friends and the warnings about how different the scene is have been LOUD... like our joburg friends say CT is "too pretentious" and our CT friends say joburg is "too intense"... is there genuine truth to that or are they both just defending home turf?? we're open minded but if joburg is gonna be a whole different planet of energy id rather know going in. also security and venue location wise are there things visiting couples should know about joburg specifically. dress code differences?? music?? play room expectations??