the fantasy that's only stayed words for 5 years... is it time to admit it's just words

theres one specific thing wife and i talk about in bed, have done for 5 yrs now, and we have never once moved towards actually doing it. its not the wildest fantasy in the world, its very achievable in the LS, weve had loads of conversations where we say "we should plan that this year" and then we just dont. and the talking about it still genuinely turns us both on, every single time. so my question is - if a fantasy works that well as just a fantasy, are we doing ourselves a disservice by trying to make it real, or is the constant deferral a sign that one of us doesnt actually want it and is too scared to say so. how do you tell the difference