the jealousy that finally broke us, looking back what should i have seen

reflecting after the fact cuz i want to learn from this. we did the LS happily for like 4 yrs and then over the last 12 months a low simmering jealousy started in me that i could not for the life of me shake. i did everything you're supposed to do, talked about it, journaled, more reassurance from her, dialled down the activity, etc. nothing worked, it just kept growing. eventually i told her i needed to stop and she said she couldn't go back to mono and that was kind of the end. now i'm on the other side wondering if jealousy is something you can actually fix or if it's a signal you're fundamentally not built for this... what should i have noticed earlier