the "we are just here to watch" couple at the club — do you engage or avoid, is it actually a real category

curious how others read this bc we go back and forth on it. theres a category of couple at our club thats kind of common — they sit on the edge of the lounge, dressed up, drink in hand, watching the room. friendly enough when you say hi but they'll openly tell you "oh we're just here to watch" or "we're still kinda figuring it out." and they're usually pretty new ish, sometimes been in the scene a couple years but havent crossed over to playing in club settings. we genuinely never know what to do w this. my husband (he 44) thinks we should just chat w them as normal ppl bc maybe theyll be a play couple eventually or maybe theyll just be cool to know. me f41 honestly i find them slightly draining bc the conversation hits a ceiling — like u can flirt but it goes nowhere by their own admission, and the energy is observational not participatory. and somehow that observational thing has weirded me out a few times, like im a fish in a tank. so my actual ask — is "just here to watch" usually a real ongoing situation or is it usually a softener for "we havent worked up the nerve yet but we want to be talked into it." bc those are two different responses. and how do you tell the difference w/o being pushy. and is it ok to politely decline to be watched if im not feeling like a spectacle that night oh also btw i have nothing against ppl who are easing in. we were that couple in 2020. just trying to figure out if theres a friendly script for this thats not me dodging eye contact lol