this club we tried last weekend felt like everyone had been going for 10 yrs and we walked in cold. how do you crack into a tight regulars-only scene

felt like the new kid at a high school reunion lol. so theres a smaller club abt 90 min from us that ppl on the apps rave abt — supposedly the "real" scene in our region. weve been going to a bigger more open club for 3 yrs but wanted to try this one. paid the cover, walked in, and immediately felt like everyone knew everyone. like couples calling across the room by name. the bartender pre-pouring drinks for ppl. one couple actually went "oh new faces" when we walked past which i think was meant friendly but it kinda hit weird. f42 he 44, lifestyle 6 yrs so we are NOT new to the scene. but in that room we may as well have been. we spent 2 hrs sitting at the bar nursing drinks getting friendly nods but no actual conversation. left at midnight feeling kinda deflated. drove home in silence which is the worst part. so the question — is there a way to crack into a regulars-only club without just brute forcing 5-6 visits til ppl recognize ur face. is there a "right" way to introduce yourself to a tight scene. should we ask the host if theres a regulars night vs a newcomer night. should we have just gone up to a friendly looking couple and said "were new here, can you give us the 101" or is the answer just patience + showing up 5 more times. bc thats a lot of 90 min drives if there isnt a faster path