toy sharing in 4some — what sanitizer ACTUALLY works between partners

F38 H40. we have a regular play couple weve been with for 8 months. last 2 sessions weve started sharing toys (her favorite vibrator on me, my fav on her, etc) and im realizing we've been kinda winging the cleaning. between uses we go to the sink and do warm water + the foamy hand soap and wipe with a towel. is that... enough?? i feel like the answer is no but i dont know what the actual right protocol is. silicone toys vs glass vs that hard plastic kind, do they need diff treatment? does the dishwasher actually work like ppl say or is it a myth. and what abt between same-night partner switches when u dont have time for a 20 min boil. some real practical advice would save me from spiraling on google