visa-precarious couple in NZ, paranoid about being open in the LS and not sure if were being silly

so we're a couple in wellington, both mid 30s, here on work visas tied to his job. we're south asian originally (wont go more specific cause anonymity), came over via the uk where we did try the scene a bit. we've been in NZ about 18 months and have been to exactly one meet which was fine but we havent been back. the reason isnt the scene, the scene seems lovely. its the visa thing. our status here is renewable and depends on the employer and our community is small. there's a non zero number of ppl from our home cultural community in this city and im paranoid in a way i wasnt in london about being clocked at a club by someone who would tell someone who would tell his work or worse our families back home. i know on paper "what consenting adults do is no one's business" but on paper isnt where we live. in practice my partner's visa renewal is in 14 months and we cannot afford anyone making noise about our private life in a way that gets back to his employer or our community here. and we both want to be in the LS but every time we get close to going to another meet i picture running into the only other person from our hometown in wellington and i lock up. anyone else been in a similar visa-precarious situation. did you just wait til you had PR or did you find a way to participate without it becoming a risk.