we agreed to swing through the rough patch and it absolutely did not save us

feel like an idiot writing this but here goes. we'd been struggling for ages, sex life dead, communication terrible. someone (her) suggested we try opening up cuz we'd talked about it years ago and never done it. i was hesitant but agreed cuz i didn't want to lose her. 14 months in, we're separated. surprise! turns out adding more people to a broken marriage just gives both of you new ways to feel inadequate and also new things to fight about. wish someone had told me LS is for couples who are STRONG already not couples trying to fix something. anyone else use the lifestyle as a hail mary and watch it crash... how did you make peace with that decision