we're TERF-fearing as a couple, how do you clock a safe one before meeting asking semi-seriously. couple here, one of us is a trans woman, the other a cis bi woman, and we've had two genuinely awful experiences this year where couples were saying the right things in messages and then turned out to hold views we can only describe as TERF-leaning once we were sitting at a table with them. wasted nights, slightly scary moments, lots of post-meet processing. what are your tells in messages or pre-meet calls that someone is actually safe vs performing safety? we're in the uk where this stuff is unfortunately a live political fault line. specific phrases that you use as filters? topics you bring up on purpose to test the waters...