what messaging style actually works on enm apps after the match?

the matching is one thing but the convo is where everyone falls down. what actually works AFTER the match in enm dating? we've tried casual chat-like-friends approach which sometimes meanders for weeks with no plans. tried more direct "we're looking for x, are you interested in y" which feels transactional. tried the middle ground "tell us about you and what you're hoping to find" which works sometimes. anyone got a messaging style or opening that consistently turns matches into meetups? not just openers — the whole arc from match to meeting...