whats the actual language to use when telling a vanilla date youre ex-lifestyle

genuine question on phrasing. ive had to do The Talk twice now and both times i fumbled it. words like "swinger" trigger ppl. "ethical non monogamy" sounds clinical. "open marriage" feels misleading bc we did more than just open. "lifestyle" alone is vague af. how do you describe a decade of LS history to someone vanilla without either scaring them or downplaying what it was. there has to be a script ppl have refined... southampton area, 38f